My bones are weak and brittle , cold in the warmth. Is this how it feels to be dead with a heart beat and an apparent blood flow? I don’t think that this is the life we pictured living, but we carry on…
September of 2017, a year ago, I saw and planned the best year ever before my eyes. The best year ever was filled with determination and an academically pacted schedule. Everything was set and ready to go but life had different plans. My bones held the faith of my future, and decided to crush them all, with an autoimmune disease, that months later became known as Fibromyalgia. Nor I or the doctors could really explain why a (then) 16 year old girl had this disease, but we did know that there is no cure.
‘No cure’ , the words repeat in my head like a school bell except for I am at home more than I am at school . I am more on a couch than in a desk learning about the elements in the periodic table. But being at school , while feeling death upon you – physically – was torture. The questions from my teachers and fellow peers, haunted me in the hallways , as I had no answer decent enough to respond with. Counselors questioned my attendance, and all the information I was given I handed to them on a silver platter. But sometimes , people don’t understand you, no matter how much you explain. So they believe what they want , and make you feel like you’re on trial for a crime. That crime – being sick, while desperately looking for the help that you need to reach your goals. My experience with being a student with an autoimmune disease , an invisible disease, has not been pleasant or by any means , easy. Not all helping hands help at the appropriate time but it is about becoming your own strength and making your voice heard. And most important learning that an invisible illness does not define what type of student you are.
This journey has not been easy, there’s certainly more bad days than good. I learned that my overall health was much more important , and should be my first priority. I learned to cherished my education a bit more than I use to. I learned to stop taking the basic things in life for granted. Now it’s my junior year, and my health has been the best its been in a year. For the most part, my flare ups are not as bad as I use to experience them. My grades are off to a better start , I am off with a better start. And I am ready to keep being strong , to keep prioritizing my health and stive for greatness.
For more information about Fibromyalgia please visit:
Please be aware that fibromyalgia is an unknown disease , with unknown causes and unknown damage.